I don’t make music. I am not an artist, but no one is supporting my blog. Much like that one guy you went to school with. You barely know him, but he keeps randomly sharing his mixtape link with you. My blog is like a soundcloud mixtape to some people.
Lately, the idea of support has been heavy on my mind. More specifically, supporting your friends and their endeavors.
When I started this blog, it was spur of the moment and influenced by a friend who inspired me. Everyone was excited for my new project and telling me I have such a great “writing personality” and stories worth sharing. Ya girl was gassed up. I was getting all the likes and reposts on my introductory post. However, after that first post, radio silence. None of my friends were sharing anything, commenting on the posts, or mentioning my new endeavor in conversation. I even had a few very important people in my life boldly admit that they didn’t read anything I was putting out. Don’t get me wrong, people were reading my work and even a few strangers/acquaintances sent me such loving comments that I still cherish. I appreciate any and all support.
But, I was genuinely hurt that the people I thought were on my team weren’t anywhere to be found throughout the process. There was even the added kick that my friends were genuinely supportive of other creators. I frequently saw them hyping up other peoples’ posts and sharing content. I was jealous. Why wasn’t my blog getting that type of love? My ego took a hit, my self-confidence took a hit, and I found myself wondering why my friends weren’t supportive. Shit, were they even my friends at all? Months later, after abandoning this blog for a bit and just not talking about it, I may have found some sort of peace with the situation.
Evelyn from the Internets (amazing, look her up) once went on an IG story related to support that truly stuck with me. She said that friends support you in different ways when it comes to projects and recognizing those different avenues of support is key to your own personal peace. They are roughly as follows:
- Some friends obviously and visually support – sharing your posts on every platform, commenting on everything, hyping it up. They want as many people as possible accessing your project and they will support you in every way (even with their own coin sometimes). Their support is loud and apparent.
- Some might be behind the scenes supporting – talking with other friends, sending personal links, or even just reading your content and moving along. Their support might appear silent, but it’s critical.
- Some may not find your work appealing, but support you – those friends who say “hey I see you’ve been grinding lately on your project and I’m proud of you”. They may not personally digest your content, but they want it to succeed. Their support is personal.
- Lastly, some friends don’t care. This is the one I personally struggle with and can go into dicey territory. I don’t intend for this to sound mean, but they don’t really care about your blog, your hair growth insta, or your line of t-shirts. They aren’t personally investing their energy into consuming your project. They do not necessarily owe you their time or interest because it’s YOUR personal project. The hope is that they still love and support it and that their lack of interest is not because they are an undercover hater.
If those around you love and wish the best for you that might be enough to you. But then again, it may not be. Some might argue expecting your friends to love and loudly support every endeavor is seeking validation from others and will always leave you disappointed. However, to me, it’s seeking affirmation that someone you care about cares about you and what you’re doing the same way you would care about their endeavors.
So what’s the take away from my long and emotional rant? My perspective on support was skewed. I was only looking for loud and apparent and thought everyone was more so on the “don’t care” end of the spectrum. Taking the time to personally view what support looks like to me and even how I support others has made me feel more at peace and not disappointed in my circle.
I will end with this.
If you are a creator, take a step back. If support matters to you, look at all the forms it might come in and appreciate those who do care. Do not dwell on that one best friend who still hasn’t said anything. They might have malicious intent and are secretly hating, or their support might be behind the scenes. You do not create to force one person to care.
If you are a friend of a creator (and actually care about them), give them a bit of simple support when you can. Is your friend starting a food insta? Like every single one of her pictures. Friend just wrote a new blog post? Share it on your IG story or retweet the link. That two second act means so much even if you don’t give a damn what they have to say. To me, that support every so often means the world.